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Non-monogamous relationships really shouldn't have to follow that model, because none of my partners have to be everything to me.Accepting each partner for who they are and what they have to give me should free me from much of the angst I’ve been experiencing when communication doesn’t look the way it does in my ideal scenario.Of course, I would love to be special in all of my partners’ eyes. But we live in reality, not a romantic comedy or fairy tale, and truthfully, it would likely get exhausting if someone paid me too much attention, and I’d probably get a little creeped out if someone went on and on about how special I am.Somehow it seems we’re wired to have these paradoxical desires about attention. My second mindset shift came from some time I spent thinking about love.As with ALL relationships, I simply need to do away with any expectations I had of it being anything other than what it is. Before modern cultural norms crept in, it’s predicted Earth was a place of sexual freedoms, including self pleasure.I’ve got some awkward and painful days ahead of me as I get to the other side and grieve the relationship I thought we had and were building.
But when my overly anxious or depressed brain starts calling the shots, the message I hear becomes that I’m simply a convenient set of holes they can use when they’re horny and ignore when they’re not.By decreasing my dependence on the external stimulus of text messages for affirmation of my value in their eyes, and by telling my inner (read: critical) voice to go fuck itself, I’m working to remove the power my insecurities and internal slut-shaming sometimes hold over me so I can just enjoy the many good things I get from these relationships.My mindset first began to shift following an experience I had with a long-distance partner I wanted to video chat/masturbate with. He made a big point of carefully and clearly stating it's not only me he didn’t want to video chat with.But anyone who’s been a human with genitals in the modern age will know self-loving is rarely applauded and absolutely not something to tell your parents about.It’s not even an extra-curricular activity many people feel comfortable discussing with their mates.
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When the Victorians uncovered what was left of Pompeii’s lost land in the late 1800s, erotic, orgy-tastic artworks were found hung in middle class family hallways, hinting that even life here was fully accepting of sexual activity of any kind.