Dating a man with bipolar disorder dating a dull guy
I was 18 years old, pregnant, scared and lonely when I met my now-husband.We became best friends, and two years later he married another woman and had a baby.Fast forward six years: we were madly in love and engaged, then married.One year after that, my husband came home after work, sat down at the kitchen table, and told me he wanted a divorce. A few months after that, he was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, and our marriage was in for a hell of a ride.Most of the time, you won’t feel like you’re enough to help solve the issue. The reality of our illness is just that nothing is ever enough. We are so sorry, and we feel so much guilt in the confusion that we cause you.But the problem with this doesn’t always have to do with you, it has to do with the fact that we sometimes don’t address our issues ourselves. We don’t always explain to you our condition, and because of that, you unfortunately get pushed to the side when we need you the most. Tell us you notice our beautiful soul on our darkest day.There are general parameters of symptoms, but they can vary wildly from person to person.2. Part of having bipolar can be what is called "anosognosia," a weird word for a simple idea: a mentally ill person who's unable to perceive that they are ill.This means a huge part of bipolar is that, when your partner most needs help, they will be least likely to look for or accept it.
Even if you understand mental illness (I was already struggling with anxiety and depression when my husband was diagnosed), you don't know what it's going to look like in a particular person.
We need you to know that when we have these days, weeks or even months during which our moods are uncontrollably solemn, we just need you nearby. We need you to say, “I love you.” We need to hear you tell us our feelings don’t define us, and that you’ll be there to get us through.
The problem here is sometimes we don’t always know what we need. We have mood stabilizers for the behavioral aspect, and Xanax for the anxiety that comes with being in your own head all the time.
Some people with bipolar can be very proactive about their care, but this is usually after treatment has begun to help.
Part of what makes bipolar so scary is that it takes an enormous amount of work to manage, and "an enormous amount of work" is almost impossible for someone very ill with bipolar.