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Being able to accurately label feelings is an important step to being able to regulate them.When someone is describing a situation, notice their emotional state.
People vary in their ability to know their own feelings.
Remember that you may guess wrong and the person could correct you.
It's her emotion and she is the only one who knows how she feels. Level Four is Understanding the Person's Behavior in Terms of their History and Biology.
For example, some confuse anxiety and excitement and some confuse excitement and happiness.
Some may not be clear about what they are feeling because they weren't allowed to experience their feelings or learned to be afraid of their feelings.
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Level 5, normalizing, would not work because most people would agree his response was reasonable and not be upset in that situation.